Every year on my birthday, I look back and write lessons I learned (or re-learned) throughout the year. These are my own opinions and reflections—each with its own story of why it surfaced. I hope a few are helpful reminders for you.
Thanks for being part of my life, work, and world. I feel really lucky to be here.
- Good, lasting growth almost always takes time. Deep roots have to push through a lot of soil.
- Pay attention to what you pack when you travel. The things you bring reveal what you like and value the most.
- Most of life is about managing down your wants.
- A person only needs a few nice things.
- Sit in the sun as often as you can. Even for a few minutes.
- Sometimes you’ll need help. The sooner you ask, the easier it is for someone to jump in. If you think you need a hand, then you probably do.
- There is no special formula to love and relationships. They require a lot of attention and work. But if you stick with them, they give much more than they take.
- If there’s an app on your phone that’s taking too much of your time, delete it during your most important times in the day/week. Then re-download it during your down-times.
- Don’t do email on your phone.
- If you’re having trouble completing something, give it a specific deadline. Then add a reward to completing it and add a consequence for not completing it. Make sure you actually gain or lose something you enjoy. Finally tell someone you admire to hold you accountable to the task at hand.
- Only control what you can control. That list is longer than you think. And the most important thing on that list is your perspective on any given situation.
- Comparison is toxic. But in small doses, it can teach you a lot about yourself and whatever you’re working on. You’ll know you’ve allowed too much when you stop celebrating how far you’ve come or being grateful for what you have.
- When hugging someone you love, hold them one extra second longer than you think you should. That moment is a mix of slightly awkward and magical.
- When the sun is setting in a beautiful place, think about someone you care about deeply. Later, call that person and tell them you were thinking about them while the sun was setting in a beautiful place.
- Moving your body isn’t optional.
- Find one or two days a month where you turn all technology off. Make no exceptions.
- Use conditioner daily and shampoo weekly.
- Stress can be toxic. It will eventually impact your body in ways you never expected. Nothing you’re doing is really worth that amount of stress.
- Be nice to people. Life is complex.
- Attention is a commodity. You own it. Everyone wants it. And it’s finite. Use it wisely.
- Loneliness isn’t a bad thing. How you handle loneliness can be.
- If you feel down emotionally, it’s ok. Love that version of yourself fully. Then begin to work through it using art, conversation, exercise, etc. But you’ll never find your way out if you don’t acknowledge and accept where you are.
- When you have someone to kiss, kiss them slowly and often.
- Bringing people together for a meal is always a worthwhile way to spend your time.
- Don’t wish you were someone else. It’ll sell short who you are and were meant to be.
- Own whatever you can. Your home, your data, your most valuable things, etc. Everything you don’t own is controlled by someone else.
- Hope brightens life. Whatever fuels your hope, do more of that.
- There are people and circumstances that bring you to peace. Spend more time with them.
- Some people confuse brashness with strength and warmth with weakness. But you can be strong without belittling or dividing people. Despite who the media highlights, the ones who can balance strength and warmth are the ones who change society, business, and lives for the long run.
- When you lose a loved one, they show up again and again. On the train. During a movie. On a flight. In the waiting room. While biking to work…
That can be both one of both the most painful and sweetest parts of life.
- Read a lot. Say a little.
- Take time to understand where you find your worth. If it comes from bad places or people, you’ll find yourself doing awful things you never thought you’d do. If it comes from good places, you’ll attempt amazing things you never thought you could.
- Every year, around your birthday, take an hour to write as many lessons as you can. Keep them somewhere safe.